Maintaining a good, healthy relationship when an invisible
illness becomes the unwanted third wheel.
Relationships intimate or otherwise are usually a private
things that you keep quite close to your heart, locked away in its own heart
shaped box. However, when it comes to having a chronic illness or knowing
someone that does, you are not prepared for the impact it will have on your
relationships. As much as it is no one’s business what happens behind closed
doors, I find that reading about others experiences can be quite reassuring
when I know that I am not the only one going through it.
Maintaining a good relationship when one of you is reliant
on the other can be quite difficult. During my many hours of scouring the
internet and reading articles and blogs about my condition and ones that are
similar, I have rarely found anything that truly expresses how Fibromyalgia can
effect someone’s close relationships. In
this blog I wanted to be quite frank and open about everything that I have been
going through and this post will be no different. One of the main things I have
learnt is chronic illness does affect your relationships and shows you how
strong those relationships may or may not be. Not only do you find out the real
strengths and bonds you have with others but, you also find out who is willing
to fight your corner no matter what the problem is.
Living with variable health can make it near impossible to
plan things in advance as you don’t know how you are going to feel from one day
to the next. But what I have found is that you both need to acknowledge the
fact that you will not always be able to do everything that you want to. There
are days where I can only muster the strength to sit and watch countless films
on Netflix, drink infinite cups of tea and just enjoy my partners company and
that is ok. Some days I feel like I can go out and explore and these are the
moments I feel lucky to have, even if it means numerous days of recovery are to
follow. Pushing through isn’t always the
answer and if plans need to be changed then your health and wellbeing should
come first.
Thankfully, in my situation my partner is very understanding
and supportive. When we first met I wasn’t in the condition that I am in now
but, thankfully in his eyes nothing had changed and he doesn’t see me as the
girl with Fibromyalgia but, still as me. When I have bad days and spend endless
hours in bed, he still tries his best to keep a smile on my face. On days were
the pain is somewhat manageable, he makes sure that I don’t over do it but, we do make the most of this time before the pain rears its head again.
As Fibromyalgia gives off a negative outlook,
sufferers can find it difficult to keep up appearances leaving their partner to
feel the need to keep everything quite upbeat and positive. Unfortunately, on
days were your having a flare, have only had a few hours of broken sleep and
you have had to cancel your plans it is very hard to not feel like the world is
against you and positive thinking is hard to come by. I find that communication
is the key when dealing with something like this together but, you do have to
find a balance. It is easy to overload your partner with details of every pain,
every worry and everything that is causing you to stress but, this will do more
damage than good.
I have someone I can always rely on and who stops me from
feeling guilty when I am unable to do things I once could. I can’t thank him
enough for continuing to treat me like Jodie and not a chronic pain patient. We have our little disagreements and arguments but, as much as the pain tries to reek havoc, we always come out the other end stronger than ever. Find someone that will love you in any
condition and under any circumstances.
P.S Just in case no one told you today … You are good enough
and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
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